The EMG

GOOD BYE 2007! Hello 2008!

2007-12-23T11:50:00.000-08:00

I can not begin to tell you how happy I am that 2007 is OVER! I am sure many of you had a great 2007... I however had a pretty shitty year. I can only hope and pray for a better 08!

Here's hoping everyone has a joyous New Year!

Cheers!
The EMG

Practicly Perfect in everyway!

2007-08-20T04:38:00.000-07:00

Where exactly is Mary Poppins when you need her?

So I said I would tell you the "Nanny Drama"... seriously does this stuff happen to other people or just me!?!? So

So our nanny had to have a medical procedure (OK she got new boobs!). We where understanding and gave her a week off paid to recover. She calls mid-week and says she is not healing as she should and would need an extra week off.. OK we said but if we have to bring in other people to watch the children for any reason we would have to deduct some of her pay, but we would still pay her something.. fairly fair I think. OK so she calls again to say she has a DR. appointment and will come over after it to work. HERE IT COMES.... I'm sitting here all ready to go to work.. she is now an hour and a half later and is not returning any of my calls... OK so I call her DR and they tell me "Oh your her emergency contact, we where just about to call you as she has not shown up." OK now I am a Mom so I am now worried... I drive to her home to make sure she is not dead.... no answer.. "Great" I think..."now I have to go to the PoPo to break into her house to make sure she is not dead!" But no wait I run into a friend of hers on the street.... "She didn't email you or call you he says!?!?!?" Umm NO... "We'll she moved to California".

WTF!?!?!?!?!?!

OK it gets better... some small drama ensues... she emails me California is not working out and she is returning to Michigan. OK I say.. Good luck.... OK HERE IT COMES AGAIN.. she has taken a new job here at DEJA VUE.. the local STRIP CLUB!

WTF!?!?!

I trusted this woman with my children! Don't I feel the fool now!!!

OK.. for next weeks adventures.. The EMG rides for a night with the local PoPo! No really I did, and some of my observations are deep and some are HYSTERICAL! ie: Who brings a bat to a gun fight?!? no seriously......

ciao!

Don't call it a come back.....

2007-07-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

So due to my sever case of obvious ADAH I've once again taken a new job.... I'm now with WNEM (You can Google that s*%t.) Not every detail is 100% ironed out but so far we do know I'm in sales, but there could be a twist in there... however seeing as how that aspect is still not ironed out I am reluctant to say anything further on it.. but you know eventually I will ;)

Other then that we are T-minus 6 days till the Cape.. THANK GOD!

Stay tuned for my personal version of THE NANNY DRAMAS. Seriously sometimes I think stuff like this ONLY happens to me.. I mean really I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!!!!!

As the WASP says: CHEERS!

I'm BACK

2007-07-23T04:38:00.000-07:00

And I have something really BIG to share with all of you....

Stay posted!!!!!!

and NO I AM NOT PREGNANT!

Ahhh to be young and single!

2007-05-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

Don't I wish!

HA HA HA!

Again too close to home..

2007-04-16T13:22:00.000-07:00

I feel self indulgent today..

2007-04-14T06:44:00.000-07:00

.. so today's post literally is all about ME!

Three Things That Scare Me:

1. Anything bad happening to my kids

2. My husband leaving me for someone else

3. Losing my hair.. I'm like Samson that way...:)

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:

1. Myself

2. My kids

3. Chris Rock, that guy KILLS me!

Three Things I Love:

1. My family

2. Playing with fire :)

3. Vodka

Three Things I Hate:

1. rude people

2. BUGS!

3. People who take advantage of my good nature, trust and "love"

Three Things I Don’t Understand:

1. anything over 3rd grade math!!!

2. men

3. how I get myself into THOSE situations!!!!

Three Things On My Desk:

1. Coffee Cup

2. Pictures of my family

3. a gnome

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:

1. Typing, duh!

2. Trying to reason with a 5 year old. I'd be better served nailing jello to a tree!

3. Thinking I really desperately need a pedicure

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

1. Go to Africa

2. Drive the Autobahn really really fast

3. get a small discreet tattoo

Three Things I Can Do:

1. network like nobodies business

2. Throw an AWESOME party!

3. make people laugh

Three Things I Can’t Do:

1. be a bitch.. ( I try but it's so NOT me)

2. sing, but I try

3. play piano, my mean mom never let me take lessons

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:

1. Your mom

2. Yourself

3. Your Lawyer ..:)

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:

1. The boy who just wants in your pants

2. Whom ever has been advising Brittany Spears

3. Lawyers...:)

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:

1. To play piano

2. To better stand up for myself

3. To sew

Three Favorite Foods:

1. Chocolate

2. Pizza

3. Creme Brule

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:

1. Facts of Life

2. Zoom

3. Muppet's

Three Things I Regret:

1. Not doing better in College

Other then that I relay try to live my life with no regrets.... :)

Play Ball!

2007-04-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

FIRST PITCH EVER FRIDAY APRIL 13th, 7PM BABY!

EastBumble, MI

GO LOONS!

I'm....

2007-04-09T16:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sick of always being there for you.
I'm sick of you never being there for me.
I'm sick of being so needy of you.
I'm sick of you at lest acting like you don't need me.
I'm sick of letting you make a fool of me.
I'm sick of making a fool of myself.
I'm sick of giving you control.
I'm sick of you taking all the control.

Why can't I just let you go?
It's the right thing to do......

New Shoes

2007-04-08T12:53:00.000-07:00

OK some of you know me well enough to know I have MAJOR shoe issues. No really I do... See I started this really bad habit in January.. I figured now that I had a "real job" I could reward myself WEEKLY with a new pair (or two) of shoes.. and I do! I have so many shoes it's ridiculous!

But that's not the reason for my post... See I bought these shoes and I have NADA to wear with them!

I've emailed the all knowing Mrs. P but if anyone else has any FABULOUS ideas PLEASE let me know! I would like to be able to wear these to work this summer so please keep that in mind.. but hey if you see a GREAT party dress let me know that too!

MUCH LOVE!

~The EMG

PS: WASP I've seen your tie/shirt combos.. do not feel you need to chime in on this one...:)

Is it Tuesday yet!?!?!?

2007-04-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

Tuesday we shall KNOW the truth...
and the truth shall set us...
FREE!

I will not rest easy till I know the TRUTH!

If only I had MONEY on it!

2007-04-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to do the whole bracket thing, but in my new job I found it gave me something to talk about for a while with the "men-folk". Who knew I would pick the NCAA basketball Champs DEAD on! I so ROCK! :)

'nuff said!

2007-04-01T16:45:00.000-07:00

2007-03-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

I'm alive!

Sunscreen is for the WEAK!

Apparently me in the sun is like a fork in the microwave! YIKES!

Florida was GREAT! I want to thank "The WASP" for taking care of my precious puppies.. as well as outing me as a redneck over my inability to remove my Christmas lights as of yet. (Some "friend" he is huh?)

That's all for today. Short and sweet I know.. I am committing to trying to breath some new life into this blog...

CHEERS!

The Bubble has BURST

2007-03-07T16:30:00.000-08:00

I live in a-typical small town USA. aka: "The Bubble". aka: "Sparkletown". Nothing bad ever happens here.. it's freaking Plesantville, no really! I swear to you there are days I still see women around here in heels, pearls and a dress vacuuming! (OK that might be a stretch, but you get the picture.)

Then today THIS happened. The bubble has burst! This took place about 6 blocks from our house.. 2 blocks from my kids elementary school.

Makes me long for the old days when someone mooning you at school was the worst thing that happened.

My heart goes out to the families.. this hit a little too close to home.

Not so Preppy

2007-02-16T13:23:00.000-08:00

Well normally I would categorize myself as quite preppy, especially in my mannor of dress. For example right now I'm in Gap Jeans, A white button down Polo shirt and a Black cable knit Polo sweater .. all topped off with a Preppy Potato multi colored belt. My hair is blond with highlights to my shoulders mostly in a long bob.. again straight out of "The Preppy Handbook".

Having said that there are some non-preppy things about me...I challenge my otter Preppy Blogers to join in and also list THE TOP 3 THINGS ABOUT ME THAT AREN'T SO PREPPY!

1. I LOVE music with a heavy beat.. so yes I do like Eminem, and 50. I'm loving Fergie's new album right now. I also listen to my music WAY too loud. Yes I'm that obnoxious OLD woman in the SUV next to you blasting the TECHNO dance tracks while she drives her kids to school. So un-preppy.

2. I wear VERY conservative but not so preppy shoes. I LOVE the new patten leathers and purchased these yesterday. Despite my 5'10" stature you will RARELY see me in flats, in fact a favor heels in 2" or higher.

3. I collect snowglobes. Now in my defence I only collect the Saks 5th Avenue Snowglobes. (They make one for every city that there is a Saks.) And I only by them when I'm in that city. This has become quite difficult since they no longer carry these.. I guess I'll have to do the Ebay thing I'm such an ADDICT!) I currently own 9.

OK that's it for SHOCKING secrets today.... Let's here what makes some of you "not so preppy."

GROSS POST!

2007-02-12T15:47:00.000-08:00

WARNING THIS POST IS GROSS!

After dinner tonight I got a bit sick to my tummy. My 5 year old son The JBG came into the kitchen.. upon witnessing me wrenching he ran out of the kitchen screaming... and I quote...

"She's Gona BLOW!"

Out of the mouths of babes.... *sigh*

Guilty Pleasure

2007-02-11T06:44:00.000-08:00

Every Sunday I sit down at my computer with a latte and indulge in my most sacred guilty pleasure PostSecret. It's good to know I'm not the only damaged person aimlessly wondering around this Earth just trying to make it through some days. But then again some days life is GOOD!

(PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.)

ETP YAY!

2007-02-10T06:49:00.000-08:00

I forgot to post this.. I am a BAD BAD bloger! I want to thank Chole at English Tea Paperie
for my AMAZING new stationary. I especially want to thank her for creating the "Red Dress" cards special for me to use as thank you notes for the "Go Red for Women" luncheon I'm involved with here. So Ms. Chole THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I LOVE MY ETP STATIONARY!!!!

the World's gone MAD....

2007-02-10T06:44:00.000-08:00

First some astronaut goes all NASA on some lady.

Second Anna Nicole (one of my idols.. DON"T ask) dies.

Third Stay-at-Home moms are drinking on playdates.

Forth Everyone but my Grandmother has entered the "08 elections I think.

And Finally I actually LIKE my job.....

What is this world coming to!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh What A Night....

2007-02-03T09:00:00.000-08:00

Like one of my FAVORITE other blogers Ms. Lisagh has said... I need to remember I am not 21 any more. I need to remember I do not recover like I used to. I need to remember Jagermeister is NOT my friend.

Lucky for me I DID remember how good the cold bathroom floor feels against your face when your completely passed out BLOTTO!

Fashionista POLL Question

2007-01-30T16:02:00.000-08:00

Normally I would not be seen in a red suit of any kind... I believe red suits are befitting only for Mr. and Mrs. Clause. However having said that I find myself on the committee for the "Go Red" luncheon here in East Bumble, and so I must wear red for the event. Seeing as I can be quite CHEEP (at lest when it comes to things I will wear maybe 2 times in my whole life) I purchased an acceptable little number off Ebay (Yes I'm an ADDICT!)

So the BIG question is:

What color leg wear and what color/ type of shoes to wear!?!?!?

TAG! I'm it....

2007-01-23T17:41:00.000-08:00

Yhea yhea yhea I've been tagged.. And more then once....

So prepare to read all about my weirdness.... PLEASE like you people who read me don't already KNOW just how weird I am!!!

1. I am terrified of midgets. Little People. The Height Challenged. I'm not really sure what the PC term to use here is, but at any rate I am TERRIFIED of them.

2. I can not drink milk out of a plastic cup. Milk must ALWAYS be in a GLASS.

3. I am ALWAYS cold especially in bed. I sleep liberally in long PJs, an LLBean fleece pullover, socks, flannel sheets, a blanket and two comforters.... and some days even with all that I am STILL cold! My poor husband... I can't imagine how seductive and HOT I must look at bed time...LOL

4. I'm addicted to magazines. I can't even begin to count how many I subscribe to.. and then I horde them. I keep them. I RARELY throw them out. Well like once every 3 years I will purge them.

5. When I get a catalogue in the mail, which as we all know is DAILY I must immediately go through it with a RED sharpie and mark everything I want from the catalogue. If there is nothing I want (Which is RARE) I toss the catalogue, if it has even one red mark I save it til the next "issue" of that particular catalogue comes out. It's a sickness I think.

6. OK this one KILLS me to admit. Right after college I was so desperate for work I took a job at Glamor Shots in the mall. WAIT this gets better.. I did hair and make-up. NO SERIOUSLY I did! Now mind you all the other girls in the same job as me had a background in beauty (ie: attending or attended beauty school.) I however was OBVIOUSLY putting my BA in Communications to GREAT work! Thankfully I was quickly rescued by the GAP's Management Program.. whew...

OK so who's even left to tag..... I'll TAG Tod as he never gets on line any more and my little WASP because I KNOW how very weird he really is *grin*.

PS: I'm so excited Hillary's finally "OFFICIALLY" in the race. Those who know me well KNOW exactly why I'm darn giddy over it! :)

Attention BODEN shoppers...

2007-01-22T16:53:00.000-08:00

I LOVE THIS DRESS!

So I've never bought from Boden before...HELP! Can anyone offer me any advise on lengths?? I'm 5'10, should I buy Boden dresses in longs or no? Also I'm a US size 6/4 what size am I UK? I'm guessing a 10 but I'm not 100% sure. Any help any Boden shopper can offer me would be GREATLY appreciated... Thanks! The EMG

PS: I need to post about my BEAUTIFUL ETP Stationary.. I LOVE it!

Working Mom Guilt

2007-01-16T16:27:00.000-08:00

yes... Yes.... YES! I have working Mom guilt now. But it's all good, everyday after dinner I turn out a few dozen of these and I feel like a good Mom again.

No matter that my family will soon weigh 450 pounds each... At lest my guilt is soothed.

More to come I'm sure......

The spelling bee....

2007-01-08T15:07:00.000-08:00

I spent yesterday shopping at BB for "real" work clothes.

I figure nothing spells S-U-C-C-E-S-S quite like a crisp white shirt.

I bought several....

So I said I had news...

2007-01-03T15:33:00.000-08:00

News:

1. Despite what he might say I am NOT the father of Grant Millers love child.

2. I'm not sure if this is good news or not, but I'm starting a new job! No more CRACK
houses for me. Starting next week I will be the Membership Development Director for
our local Chamber of Commerce. Basically I'm going to be paid to schmooze all day long,
YAY!
So I am diligently on the search for our own Marry Poppins. Let me tell you trying to
the perfect, or even the acceptable nanny is NOT an easy task... Hopefully I find her soon
or the JBG will end up going to work with me.... HA ha ha!

HAPPY 2007!

2006-12-31T11:35:00.000-08:00

Back in the day SGG and I used to take Metro-North or jump on the PATH into NYC for all the festivities. Now we are OLD with children.. We're sure to be snuggled up on our couch snoring in the NEW year!

CHEERS!

May your BEST days of 2006 be your WORST days of 2007!

NOTE: Big news to post this week... and NO I am NOT pregnant!!!!

From the G Clan to your Clan....

2006-12-23T05:56:00.000-08:00

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

I LOVE Myself!

2006-12-22T07:56:00.000-08:00

I was tagged via email so here you go:

A-Available or single? Depends on what you've heard or who you ask. *wink*
B-Best Friend? I don't have just one. I'd say SGG,WeWe and Mrs. Jones
C-Cake or pie? Cake.
D-Drink of choice? VODKA.
E-Essential item I use every day...mascara.
F-Favorite color? Pink.
G-Gummy Bears or Gummy worms? REAL German bears.
H-Hometown? Somewhere in "White Bread" Westchester County NY.
I-Indulgence...My hair.
J-January or February? January.
K-Kids and names...I have a houseful of them. You know them as KEG, MVG and JBG.
L-Life is incomplete without? Vodka,mascara and drunken sex.
M-Marriage date...Ocotber 12, 2006
N-Number of siblings...two SMELLY little brothers.
O-Oranges or apples? Grapes.
P-Phobias or fears? Car accidents and wrinkles (guess I need to get over that 2nd one ah?).
Q-Favorite quote? "Mom, I can't get enough of you!"...my son.
R-Reasons to smile... I sold a house! And although its a Repo house, Its NOT a crack house!
S-Season? Summer.
T-Tag 3 or 4 people... Mr. Sean, The PP herself and umm lets say The VERY Posh Spy Mum. U-Unknown fact about me...I 'm a mascara WHORE.
V-Vegetable you don't like...Colliflower.
W-Worst habit...You leave my basement FULL of skeletons out of this.
Y-Your favorite food? Pizza.
Z-Zodiac? Gemini. (As if you can't tell!)

Insert Cheesy 70's Music Here

2006-12-22T05:55:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to find my childhood photo album .. but I will search for it this holiday season so I too can share with all of you just how cute the "lill EMG was.

I did however stumble upon this little morsel in my search.. It is me and my cousin JB. I'm pretty sure I'm the one with no pants on, but I'm SURE you all figure that out. Seems I'm showing JB how to escape our family... you see the truly Irish M clan didn't just kiss the Blarney stone, we LICKED it and holidays in our home are always a ruckus ...I'm sure no one would have noticed two small children escaping!

On a side note look at that STUNNING wallpaper my Grandparents had at 301 (Yes even our houses have nicknames! It's a sickness really!)

Where am I?

2006-12-17T16:22:00.000-08:00

I'm around...

BUSY as heck!

Lots to update you all on but no time to do it.

For now here is a picture of our NEW baby...

MERRY CHRISTMAS SGG!

The BCS sucks MORE then my Dyson!

2006-12-04T18:18:00.000-08:00

MICHIGAN WAS ROBED PERIOD!
I know some of you people like no make that LOVE Florida, but then again you also like ND *sigh* there is no accounting for poor taste I guess.

On a brighter note...

!!!!GO HOKIES!!!!!!!

Lastly I've finaly found my perfect Christmas gift.. after showing all those lovely Crack Houses I've settled on this for my gift....

Exhausted...

2006-11-27T18:45:00.000-08:00

I've spent the last three days actually working.. SHOCKING I know!
So you all know about my past adventures in crack houses... FUN! This weeks new adventure REPOS. What everyone forgot to tell me was that the homes was repossessed from a families of RACCOONS or SQUIRREL that lived in the ceiling....YUMMY! I love animal droppings on the rug.....

That's all for today.. hopefully tomorrow will be better! It has to be better right!?!?!?

This SUCKS!

2006-11-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to me!!!! Look what The EMG got herself today....I know I was supposed to be Christmas gift shopping (and I did do some gift getting) but... besides Dr. SGG fried my vacuum last week I really did need a new one!!!

*update* I used this thing yesterday, and to be honest I don't think my old vacuum was working. I am SHOCKED at how much dirt this sucker picked up... I felt so dirty when I saw how much dirt was in the vacuum!!!! I now KNOW what true love is....

Sevens

2006-11-21T17:04:00.000-08:00

Saw this on another blog I peek at and thought it was cute....

7 things I plan to do before I die:

build my dream home

raise healthy / happy kids

sit on a foundation board (I'm sick of always asking for money, I want to give it away!)

travel to Africa

own my own boutique

learn to kick ass in tennis

have enough courage to go topless on the beach (somewhere it's acceptable!)

7 things I can do:

cook

make friends easily

talk on a phone for hours on end

start and finish a book in one sitting

find a bargain

make a MEAN Cosmo

I'm secretly crafty

7 things I cannot do:

sing

play an instrument

draw/pain/sculpt

stop worrying

not take things personal

stop caring for people.. I'm a sucker that way, and easily manipulated ugh!

give up sweets

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex/another person:

warm smiles

eyes that make you feel important

intelligence and wit

confidence

a devilish side

driven

humor, ability to laugh at ones self

7 things that I say most often:

for real

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth

lets be honest

shut the front door

any and all curse words I have a mouth like a sailor

whatever

MOVE!

7 celebrity crushes:

jillian mcmahon

matthew mcConaughey when he's clean looking

jillian mcmahon

matthew mcConaughey when he's clean looking

ben affleck

jake gyllenhaal

jillian mcmahon

William is a GOD..."nuff said!

2006-11-19T14:51:00.001-08:00

We Clean Up GOOD!

2006-11-19T12:24:00.000-08:00

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

Here is what I've been secretly working on for Christmas....

SBM do NOT tell!!!!!!

I know it's the sample but I wanted to give you all a sneak peek!!!!

She Woman Man Haters Club!

2006-11-15T13:33:00.000-08:00

Ok I might be married but HECK these statements STILL hold true... so sad really...

1. Men are like...Laxatives.. They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like...Bananas... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like...Weather... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like...Blenders... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like...Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like...Commercials... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like... Department Stores... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like...Government Bonds... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like...Mascara... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.Men are like...Popcorn... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11.Men are like...Snowstorms... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like...Lava Lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like...Parking Spots... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

IT MUST STOP NOW! PLEASE I BEG YOU!

2006-11-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

I know this post will offend someone somewhere, however I have always contended and hold true to the fact that this is my blog. In all honesty I don't have time, desire or a care to hear/read anyone else's snarkiness other then my own therefor.. if you do not like what you are reading, TO BAD!

WTF has happened to some American women!?!?! Do they move to the Midwest push out a few kids and forget to look in the mirror before they go out? Do these women not have friends who care about them enough to say something to them?

I mean really I know that your babies made you that sweatshirt, but must you REALLY wear it out of the house? And who the heck ever came up with the idea that it was OK to wear your PJ's to the store? Shoe polish do they not make it anymore? I don't care if your shoes are 10 years old, but could you at lest take care of them!!! Make-up is NOT over rated and should be worn on occasion if not daily by most people including SUPER MODELS.

Now do NOT tell me money is the issue with these "Mommy Jeans" I know for a FACT you can find jeans at lower prices at places like Target, The Walmart, JCPenny's and even Sears. DO NOT tell me size is an issue... ANYONE who has read my blog long enough KNOWS I battled (and won) a size issue.. I never even hen I was LARGE wore "Mommy Jeans" or an embroidered, stained "Ludington" sweatshirt (or Gaylord for that matter!)

And please people STOP wearing jeans to the symphony? I am 100% sure they would KICK your bootie out of the Met if you even tried to come through the doors of a performance in anything less that IRONED PANTS! And another thing.. CHURCH I know I should be greatful people are there but to me it's a matter of respect. Jeans and a football jersey to church IMHO are just plain unacceptable.. how much more effort would it take to throw on khaki's and a shirt or sweater!?!? I mean really....

Ok that's it for now.. If I've pissed you off with what I had to say OH WELL.. welcome to MY world!!!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY BEOTCHS!!!!

2006-11-10T09:25:00.000-08:00

'Sup?...

I'm sooooooooo going outtie tonight..... HIDE YOUR VODKA!

OMG it's COMING!!!!!!!!

2006-11-09T10:58:00.000-08:00

So there are some really SICK people out there who get up every year at the CRACK of dawn on the day after Thanksgiving to shop. I personally have NEVER been one of these people, I'm more of a Dec. 26th shopper... I love me some Target at 50% off, that being said back to the topic.. my best friend however is one of THOSE sick people... And of course I being the good friend I am I can not allow her to go out into the cold cold Michigan air at 5AM by herself.... so every year since we've moved to this place I have gotten up at 5AM with TLA to face the MOB scene that is BLACK FRIDAY.

Now after several years we have managed to get this whole Black Friday thing-ie down to a science.. almost. However last year we added the WEAPON of this so if you too are one of those SICK SICK people who drags themselves out of the bed at 5AM the day after Thanksgiving make sure you take a peek.. As for the rest of you who will be all snuggled in bed that day dreaming of LILLY under your tree.. think of me and down an extra Starbucks or two....

Make Up SALE!

2006-11-03T09:36:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to pass this website along to all of you - definitely check this out! E.L.F. Cosmetics (eyes,lips, & face) is now being carried at Bloomingdale's...In an effort to promote their new line, their website is offering almost all of their inventory for a limited time at $1.00 per item!!!! This includes brushes and gift sets etc. I spent $30 in a matter of seconds.. but so WORTH it!!!

Happy shopping!!

This year I went as the REAL me! Bahh haa haaa

2006-11-01T14:23:00.000-08:00

This year for Halloween in honor of my sidekick "The WASP" I kepts it REAL...

I went as my TRUE self for the holiday....

Oh yes one more wedding picture....

You know it's not a GOOD preppy party unless SOMEONE passes out!

More Wedding pics....

2006-10-31T16:48:00.000-08:00

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING!

The beautiful bride.. Mrs. BDM or KMM as she will be known.

Ahh the happy groom.. aka The BDM my little brother!

Wedding Photos....

2006-10-31T15:03:00.000-08:00

My baby brother CDM and his fiancee SBM.. They are engaged to be married in September '07 at Waveny (sp?) in New Canaan! YAY!

Yes boys and girls.. It's me The EMG pictured with the handsome yet rarely photographed

Dr. SGG (aka my hubbie).

Ah yes the ring bearer.. have you EVER in your life seen such a handsome little man in your life! Even the groomsmen commented.."He's going to be quite the LADY KILLER when he gets older." I affectionately call him JBG or "Buddha". (PS check out the VV tie.. such a good little preppy boy!)

Here we see the stunning MOTG (aka DCM, aka Mom) and her equally stunning grandchildren. I know you are thinking there is NO WAY that woman is old enough to have grand children.. These two beauties are known as KEG and MVG. And yes they don't refer to one of these two as 'The mini EMG" for nothing!

Mom and Dad... For those of you who have been with me from my humble beginnings as a blogger you know this man as "The KPM",aka my Daddy, pictured with him is the stunning and glamorous "DCM" aka Mom.

Quick note..... MORE to come!

2006-10-31T05:19:00.000-08:00

Despite the POX we made it to the wedding!
Now, I know ya'll are waiting on the edge of your seat to hear all the gory details... (and see all the pictures) but today is HALLOWEEN and this WITCH has lots to do today (Darn PTO....). However I will try to post tonight since I'm on candy duty......

Welcome to my LIFE.....

2006-10-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

HELP! I swear to God I am going to LOOSE it before today is OVER! No SERIOUSLY... Let's start with this little guy above here.. You can immunize your kids all you want.. If this guy decided he wants to come visit.. Make room. Oh and YES my brothers wedding is THIS weekend! I'm not sure what I'm going to do.. So far just one kid has come down with the POX, but I'm sure it should not be long before the other two follow along right behind.

Work is making me crazy... I feel like I chase dead leads all day long. UGH! And then today I got chewed out by someone else's client because of something SOMEONE else did or maybe it was something they DID not do... At any rate as I always do I cleaned up the mess. But really why am I having to deal with this.. For what maybe a messily commission of $200 if I'm LUCKY!

Lastly I am too nice.... I am a doormat... I am too polite, too thoughtful and too worried about what other people think of me to stand up for myself. I hate this about myself...I'm going to change this about myself..... Someone pass me a PROZAC and a Vodka straight up!

This BLOG has fallen into the GUTTER!

2006-10-22T13:50:00.000-07:00

Negative: I'm sick today or maybe I'm just hungover. Better yet maybe I'm BOTH!

Positive: I so could get a job with a 1-900 number right now....

That's HOT!

I'll writing something witty when I feel better hopefully tomorrow as THE wedding of the century is THIS saturday... yes so for Halloween this year I guess I'm going as a bridesmaid. *sigh*

If only.......

2006-10-18T17:42:00.000-07:00

* Work overrated

* Kids Getting Better

* Men STILL annoying

* Mom & Dad STILL Da'Bomb!

Pass the Chicken Cutlets PLEASE!

2006-10-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

WTF are these you ask...

These dear readers are my Boobs. It is true I perpetuate the myth by falsely advertising that I still have boobs. You see when I was heavy I had what I thought was a pretty nice rack.. Apparently to make up for the weight God blesses heavy women with BIG 'ole bobbies! Now, well now it just sad... I compare myself to two tube socks with tennis balls in them.. I told the nice girl at VS that I wear a 36 LONG please.

That's it for now... In the words of another GREAT bloger I just had a few things I needed to get off my chest!

OH BIG OLD PS: I had these puppies in the other day.. well one worked its way lose and SPLAT right on the floor in front of a client. Go ahead you KNOW you want to laugh...

I did!

Yes, it is ALL about me!

2006-10-16T05:48:00.000-07:00

I've seen this on a few blog and thought it would be fun to do here ....

Hey it;s MY blog if you don;t like it to BAD! nah nah nah nah boo boo!

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE

1. Realtor
2. Retail Manager
3. Lifeguard
4. nanny

FOUR FICTIONAL JOB YOU WISH YOU HAD

1. Princess
2. Juilian McMahon's love slave
3. Whatever it is Paris Hilton does
4. Who knows.....

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN

1. PCU
2. Animal House
3. Caddyshack
4. Steal Magnolias

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN

1. Dobbs Ferry
2. New Canaan
3.Pittsburgh
4. Lake Jackson

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH

1. Sopranos
2. Big Love
3. Entourage
4. Nip/ Tuck

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO

1. St. Martian
2. Melbourne, FL
3. Cape Cod, Mass
4. Virgin Gorda, BVI

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY

I visit way more than just 4 sites a day...but a sample of 4 would be
1. PerezHilton.com
2. IRA2000.com (It's the Relators version of the MLS here)
3. Ebay.com
4. mcwasp.blogspot.com (My favorite littel republican WASP)

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS

1. fillet
2. pizza
3. grilled cheese
4. chocolate

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK

1. sugar
2. cottage cheese *gag*
3. Chick-fil-a (Only cause there is not one near me otherwise I sould would be eatting it!)
4. sugar

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR ROOM

1. Clothing
2. king size bed
3. shoes
4. a dog or two

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM

1. walk in closet
2. Juilian McMahon
3. my own personal Starbucks
4. a salon with stylist

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW

1. panties
2. my old beat up HUGE Cape Cod hoddie
3. black yoga pants
4. some shirt I grabed out of my drawer

FOUR PLACES YOU'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW

1. the beach
2. Juilian McMahon's bed
3. someplace I can not reveal on grounds it could incriminate me
4. Target or Marshal's

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES YOU'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW

1. Bikini Bottom and thats all I can come up with,,,,

FOUR PEOPLE YOU'D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH

1. Jackie O
2. WeWe and Hight (I miss them!!!)
3. My husband
4. Juilian McMahon

FOUR FICTIONAL PEOPLE YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH

1. Christian Troy
2. Tony Soprano
3. Holden Caulfield
4. Judge Smails

I WON!

2006-10-14T05:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure any of you know this, but I must confess I am OBSESSED with celebrity gossip... it's an ILLNESS really.

Any way the point of this post is that I won a contest from a blog I read called I'm Not Obsessed the prize is to play in a Celebrity fantasy league with 9 other people I invite. The prize was given from Girls in the Know

Girls In the Know Celebrity Fantasy League is the only online "talent agency" in the world where you and your friends can hand pick Hollywood's hottest singers, television and movie stars to "manage" in your very own portfolio.

I 'm asking if ANY of you might be just as obsessed with celebrity gossip as I am and might want to join me in this game... LET ME KNOW if you want to play.. I' think it would be fun! If you know anyone else who might want to play send em my way

XXOO
EMG *East Bumbles Answer to LaLo and Paris!*

10 Years!

2006-10-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSAY BABY!

I'm still in shock that neither of us has KILLED the other yet!

All my love... XXXOOO EMG

VOTE

2006-10-09T07:04:00.000-07:00

OK this is a SERIOUS poll question (NOT that kind of poll TOD!) and it is because of a discussion a friend (TA) and I had this past week...

Do you wear underwear to bed?

I'm not talking about just undies. I know some men sleep in boxers and a Tshirt as their PJ's but do they also wear tighty whities under that? Do women wear undies under your PJ's and what about nightgowns, does that make a difference?

inquiring minds NEED to know.....

Weekend Wrap-up

2006-10-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

YAY BMW.... drove the 330 this weekend and LBH I enjoyed EVERY stinking moment of it! I must say the SGG looked quite HOT behind the wheel, reminded me why I married him *grin* (OMG Thursday is my 10 year anniversary! Ovi more on this as the week progresses.)

We peeked at a 335 at the auto show this weekend, and I SOLD! The SGG still wants an M but I'm going to drag him out to view the 335 sedan ... I don't think we'll move on this till April but I like to have my "duck in a row", besides who knows the BMW man could call with some GREAT deal and we might JUMP early! WOO HOO!

The auto show was fun, and we could NOT have asked for better weather this weekend. But I realize I am a car SNOB! I really can not get excited about American made cars anymore.. maybe living in Michigan has had an opposite effect on me in that way.

What else... found my client the PERFECT crack house! YAY ME! Now I just need to iron out the detail and CLOSE the deal. I now swear publicly I will NOT deal with rentals ever again!

My kids quilted me into making them NY Crumbcake this weekend. It now sits hidden in my microwave taunting me and calling me... I have got to get it OUT of my house NOW!

Other then that I'm completely PMS (like y'all really wanted/ needed to know that!) I've been throwing myself the BEST pitty party ever because of it YAY ME! Hope I snap out of this FUNK soon!

Ok hopefully I'll find something better to babble about later....

Perfect....

2006-10-03T17:57:00.000-07:00

Today was a perfect "Indian Summer" fall day. Sun shining, blue skies 78 degrees... It's days like today that I LONG for. Happily for me I am so LAZY I have yet to switch over my closets and so today I got to wear my VV patchwork skirt again.. yay me!

Spent the day touring/ previewing MORE crack houses for MM (not MM the infamous bloger a different MM). He is so going to owe me when this is all over!!! *Wait I think I said that yesterday didn't I.* Really I am too nice for my own good most days.

That's about it for today..... I'm psyched for my "work"/ day with the girls tomorrow then I need to gear up for SWANK political fundraiser for Da' Judge Thursday.. *what to wear, what to wear?* we're borrowing a Bemmer for the weekend (trying to pick between a 3 and a 5. I say 5 The SGG says 3.. know what I'll win in the end TRUST ME, it will be a 5) showing the last of the crack houses Saturday afternoon then hopefully sneaking off to the Auto Show at NU (GO TEAM AUDI!). And who knows maybe I'll get nutty and sneak out at some point for a little "hair of the dog " that bite me last weekend... Guess you'll have to stay tuned and see......

Oh yes, one more way today is perfect.. Nip/Yuck in t-minus 56 minutes... YAY BABY!

Woo Hoo ANOTHER Crack house...

2006-10-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that I sell Real Estate.. OK in the MI market I attempt to sell Real Estate. I was reminded today why I do not deal with rental property.. What are some people on! $500 a month for something I wouldn't put , I wouldn't put who knows my dirty undies in!!!!! OMG I am ill over it. I have a friend looking for a rental and so SWEET, NICE me say "Ok I'll help you out"... He so owes me big time when this is all over.

Ok and not to be rude but on a similar note why do people feel in lower priced homes sometimes feel the need to put everything they have bought in the last 10 years in their front lawn!?!??! Just because you don't live in the nicest house in town doesn't mean you shouldn't have some pride in ownership and keep your property up. Just my humble opinion.

Peace Out Hommies!
OH YEA... The business card REALTOR not PIMP thank you for asking.....

I pee'ed myself

2006-10-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Jen and her Husband for this.....

White and Nerdy

My little WASP and his segway will LOVE this!!!!

I am.....

2006-10-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

COMPLETELY HUNGOVER!

Yes dear readers it is true.... I am a mess today.

But did I ever have a great time getting this way... 35 and I can still party like a rock-star beatoch! *Thank goodness for Disco naps is all I have to say* All three outfits got worn this weekend plus another one... I still can't believe I went out 3 days in a row, I am sure I will continue to pay dearly for this for days to come.

Tomorrow it's back to reality as a Mom. God it was fun to play 21 AGAIN!

On another note: Remember October is Breast cancer awareness month. So in light of resent events in my life I would like to remind everyone to make sure the women in your life are doing self checks.. I don't care if they say they are not really worth it to do, I disagree because, early detection is the key to beating this and anythign you can do is better then NOTHING.

Also my friend got out of the hospital, and so far is doing great. She looks fabulous for what she has been through. And best of all she has the BEST attitude about what she will go through.. Like my friend said " I'm to mean to let this get me."

The winner is....

2006-09-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

By default the winner was option ONE.

Why you ask? Because I ended up having to show some property before I went out so jeans where no longer an option. Also I need to show property tomorrow so I'm hoping I can tame down the dress and wear it tomorrow.

Option ONE:

Option #2

Option #3

On a serious note...NO REALLY

2006-09-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine was just diagnosed with breast cancer. 38 year old Mom of two beautiful boys. I can not even begin to imagine.... This is the first time anything like this is hitting "our circle". Yes friends Mom's have battled cancer (So far all WINNING, Thank God) but now it's one of us and it has really shaken me. Tomorrow my friend goes in for a radical double masectomy(sp).. In all honesty I would do the same thing if I was diagnosed with breast cancer.. My thought is why screw around with it. So please think about my friend.. offer up prayers, sacrifices or whatever your beliefs tell you to do. and PLEASE GET CHECKED....GET SQUISHED!

On an up note, my friend has THE best attitude. How do I know she told me " See EMG, I told you I'd get boobs before you!" ugh..... See you just can't keep a GOOD woman down!

The Count down begins....

2006-09-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

Like many of you out there in "BlogLand" I'm busy getting myself and my family ready for my little brother's wedding in 32 days.. HOLY POOP!
Above is the dress I'm wearing for the wedding.. it really is not a bad dress at all... however because my family is a bunch of @$$s we refer to it as "The Do-do Brown Dress".
I have no idea why my soon to be SIL doesn't just run away from all of us NOW while she still can.. the girl must be ill like my family. We'll there is that whole orifice story from a few summers ago on the Cape.. so maybe it's true!
So I'll try and keep you all updated as time goes on. Realize we are a TRUE Irish family so I assume this event should at some point turn into a drunken debauchery... BTW I'm guessing it's not appropriate for a married 35 year old mother of three to flirt with the cute 27 year old groomsmen right?????

Oink.. Oink.. Oink

2006-09-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

So some people have asked about my former life... Yes, I used to be heavy, oh who in heck are we kidding I used to be FAT! As you can clearly see from the photo on the left<<<<<* The photo on the right is from June.. I've lost more weight since it was taken.>>>>>>

Yesterday I had to buy new jeans again, ( jeans are my new arch-enemy! "Lucky You" my @$$)

So the worst part in all of this is I am now 5'10", 150 pounds and I still THINK I'm FAT... Ugh. *Seems like a good problem, and it is but truly it is ANNOYING by all means!!*

So for those in my life who inquired there you have it.. and now it's out here in Cyberspace for the WHOLE world to see... YHIKES!

Call me Delicious.....

2006-09-21T18:18:00.000-07:00

Ok so in the beginning of my blog you'll note I say "I am inappropriate".. and at times I am. I don't really do inappropriate things, I mostly just say inappropriate things.. lucky for me however most people know this about me and just chuckle. I also don't dress inappropriately, however I do wear inappropriate shoes ALLOT of the time. For example I do own the shoes pictured here.. The Monolo would call these "The shoes of the dancer of the pole". Now luck for me *and my Daddy* I have never been a dancer of the pole, but my footwear could lead one to believe otherwise.. Fortunately my @$$ let you know there is NO way!!!
Also I think as a CHILD BRIDE *don't coke on your coffee Tod!* I can still sort of get away with these inappropriate shoes for a wee bit longer...

SEE TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE!

On another note the Monogram Momma is doing a show me your "Preppy Puppy" contest.. I,m not sure my beer drinking, poker playing pug can win... might have to spend some time working on her perppy look!!!!

To Miss K.E.G

2006-09-18T16:41:00.000-07:00

Happy 9th birthday to my sweet baby girl....

No way am I old enough to have a 9 year old! I must have been a child Bride!

For the love of....

2006-09-16T09:32:00.000-07:00

all that is good and holy.. I can not take how HOT this man is somedays!

So last night was the wonderful Symphony Gala here in East Bumble. As is to be expected here in "Pleasantville" the woman all look stunning and the men so dapper in their tuxedos. Luckily for all of us the weather co-operated *it's been raining and cool here the last several days*. The food was VERY nice for a fund-raising event and the wine, well let's just say The EMG was quite comfey by nights end. *Note she was not so combo this morning*

I was so happy to have found this lovely ensemble to wear... KIDDING!>>>>>

I did in the end up going with the shorter dress I showed you all... I'd love to show you a picture but I have none. Should I come across one somewhere I'll be sure to post it.

Lastly I must give a BIG *shout out* to the very nice man at the walk-in nail place in the East Bumble Mall. I forgot to make an appointment at my spa for a mani/ pedi so I tried the walk-in mall place... not as good as my normal place but not bad and HECK with "finances begin tight" *ROFLMAO* the $20 savings was nice!

And hey, he only had to use the belt sander and the chain saw twice... LOL

Martha I am NOT....

2006-09-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

Those who have read me before know I refer to myself as being, "Just like Martha, if she shopped at Target and was on crack." I still contend this is true so therefore I must turn to you all for HELP!!! The time has come to update my boudior but I am at a LOSS as to where to turn. The SGG *aka my loving husband* believes "finances are tight" so we must be prudent in our redecoration. With all this in mind I am open to ANY and all realistic options....

Many thanks!

PS: You all do know I just swipe these pictures off the internet and that they are not really me or my family or my home. Ok the profile pic is me as Jenny McCarthy but...

PSS : I now KNOW why my jeans make me feel fat.... today I ate 2 Toll House Cookies. Lane Bryant here I come!

A little of THIS and a smidgen of THAT

2006-09-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

I feel fat in jeans.....

Why do I wear one size in a skirt and dress and a WHOLE other size in jeans?

When did jeans start costing over $100?

For $100 shouldn't my @$$ look better then J Lo's?

Am I to old to wear "Lucky" jeans?

These questions PLAGUE me.

Nip / Tuck

Why is this show so daym good?

Why am I so addicted to it?

Why is Julian McMahon so HOT?

These questions PLAGUE me!

Why am I so obsessed with Ebay?

Why do I feel I need to consume other people's junk?

Why can I get so much cool chit from from the far east on Ebay?

Why do I always thinking I'm getting a DEAL on Ebay?

Are there 12 step Ebay programs for people like me?

I'm thinking of selling my old socks on Ebay.. why not other people do it.

These questions PLAGUE me!

Tonight I'm trying out The Menu Manager, what is The Menu Manager you ask, according to their web site it's "A Dinner Design Studio where you create 12 meals in 2 hours"." I'm hoping it works out and my family likes it, as it seems it could save me a TON of time an aggravation. Lawd knows I could use one heck of a lot less AGGRAVATION! ugh!

The School Parking Lot

2006-09-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

Umm yea this is about what it looks like.... ok maybe I exaggerate, maybe it just feels like this! What are the women at our school on? I have never bought into the whole woman driver thing, but after today I might have to re-examine that stance.
Now this is East Bumble, Michigan and it is raining... and I know anytime it rains here ALL traffic rules to out the window *wait till it snows LAWD help me!* but between school and the Meijer's (grocery) Store parking lot today I swear I am LUCKY to be alive!

Tonight's activity: Block Party. I am sure I will have lovely tales to spin about this lovely cook-out in the rain. As for "What is the EMG wearing tonight?" easy Big YELLOW rain slicker!

Lest We Ever Forget

2006-09-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

Shoes GLORIOUS Shoes!

2006-09-10T08:11:00.000-07:00

My OUTRAGEOUS new shoes came Friday from Brentwood Designs http://www.brentwooddesign.com/
I LOVE THEM! I got so many comments on them when I wore them out... Definitely worth the "scratch" and the wait in my book! Thank you Donna!!! Might need a pair of the "Chatham" shoes for the summer.. hummmmm

MINE MINE MINE

2006-09-10T08:01:00.000-07:00

MINE MINE MINE!

This BLOG is mine..

if you want to read it fine..

if you don't want to read it fine..

if you have something helpful or witty to say please comment..

if you have something mean, rude, annoying or something I don't want to del with to say don't bother..

after all it is MY blog and I'll say and do as I please on it ..

Nah Nah Nah Nah Boo Boo!

The EMG

GOOD BYE 2007! Hello 2008!

Practicly Perfect in everyway!

Don't call it a come back.....

I'm BACK

Ahhh to be young and single!

Again too close to home..

I feel self indulgent today..

Play Ball!

I'm....

New Shoes

Is it Tuesday yet!?!?!?

If only I had MONEY on it!

'nuff said!

The Bubble has BURST

Not so Preppy

GROSS POST!

Guilty Pleasure

ETP YAY!

the World's gone MAD....

Oh What A Night....

Fashionista POLL Question

TAG! I'm it....

Attention BODEN shoppers...

Working Mom Guilt

The spelling bee....

So I said I had news...

HAPPY 2007!

From the G Clan to your Clan....

I LOVE Myself!

*Insert Cheesy 70's Music Here*

Where am I?

The BCS sucks MORE then my Dyson!

Exhausted...

This SUCKS!

Sevens

William is a GOD..."nuff said!

We Clean Up GOOD!

She Woman Man Haters Club!

IT MUST STOP NOW! PLEASE I BEG YOU!

HAPPY FRIDAY BEOTCHS!!!!

OMG it's COMING!!!!!!!!

Make Up SALE!

This year I went as the REAL me! Bahh haa haaa

More Wedding pics....

Wedding Photos....

Quick note..... MORE to come!

Welcome to my LIFE.....

This BLOG has fallen into the GUTTER!

If only.......

Pass the Chicken Cutlets PLEASE!

Yes, it is ALL about me!

I WON!

10 Years!

VOTE

Weekend Wrap-up

Perfect....

Woo Hoo ANOTHER Crack house...

I pee'ed myself

I am.....

The winner is....

On a serious note...NO REALLY

The Count down begins....

Oink.. Oink.. Oink

Call me Delicious.....

To Miss K.E.G

For the love of....

Martha I am NOT....

A little of THIS and a smidgen of THAT

The School Parking Lot

Lest We Ever Forget

Shoes GLORIOUS Shoes!

MINE MINE MINE

Insert Cheesy 70's Music Here